Friendly fire

Today I got into “the zone” fairly readily, but about 30 minutes in, a sound which resembled an outboard motor interrupted my reverie. When it began, I repeated to myself like a mantra: Mind over matter, mind over matter. But matter won and mind lost.

Although I emerged earlier than I’d expected, the voice did speak to me and I did have some revelations:

Fear binds you and prevents you from evolving into the person you were meant to be. It eclipses the spark within you. Fear will deceive you; it will pretend to be your friend because it loves company.

The only way to deal with fear is to bring it from out of hiding and into the light. Acknowledge the fear, look it in the eye and then move past it. Leave it far, far behind and ignore its whimpers.

I asked, Where did my fears come from?

I heard, Some are a legacy from your family, such as your fear of grasshoppers. Some are societal fears. Others are a primal part of the human experience; they originate from the amygdala, the lizard brain. These are the most subversive since they operate at the deepest, most unconscious layers of your being and are the hardest to recognize. Among them is your fear of appearing foolish in front of others…your lizard brain is responsible since in prehistoric times, acting odd in front of others meant they would cast you from the group and throw you out to survive on your own. This would most likely lead to starvation or death from predators without the tribe to protect you.

I asked, Aren’t some fears legitimate?

I heard, Yes, learn to recognize which fears are warning you of real dangers and which are your false friends.

[…rumble rumble rumble rumble rumble…]

At this point, the sound became too persistent to ignore. The culprit turned out to be a faulty fan which thrummed against the tank. Afterwards I said something to the manager and in the end, I wasn’t charged for the session.


This is what the voice told me today:

Be a lifelong learner. The world is your classroom. The people you know and meet are your teachers–all of them, even the ones you can’t stand. Especially the ones you can’t stand. There is value in recognizing in others the parts of yourself you dislike as a catalyst for constructive change.

Experiences are your textbooks. The more open your mind is, the more expansive the learnings will be. The lesson plan is a mystery, but you will encounter clues along the way. At first they will seem obscure. As you begin to recognize them, they will be subtle but noticeable. In time you will see that they are actually pretty loud. Remember the incident where Carl Jung was reading at his desk in a room, and he happened to look up just in time to see an enormous, beautiful moth flitting through the room before it escaped through the open window. A second later and he would have missed the entire experience. Your observations and perceptions are your tools; sharpen these and you will advance with more certainty along the path.

You are walking through a dark tunnel comprised entirely of bricks you have laid down. It feels restrictive, and it is–because you made it that way. Each brick represents an excuse. Each one was laid down painstakingly, and with great care and attention. You built this over a lifetime, and you think it’s inviolate, something that can’t be burnt down or destroyed. But it could all come tumbling down in an instant if you remove the belief structure that supports it. There’s no need to stay with one set of ideals throughout your lifetime. There are an infinite number to choose from. Wander through them and take your time….

Maya Revelations

From Wikipedia: Maya, literally “illusion” or “magic”, has multiple meanings in Indian philosophies depending on the context. Māyā connotes a “magic show, an illusion where things appear to be present but are not what they seem”. Māyā is also a spiritual concept connoting “that which exists, but is constantly changing and thus is spiritually unreal”, and the “power or the principle that conceals the true character of spiritual reality”.

From my float session: Maya is not actually a veil that covers reality. It covers each of us, our human perceptions, and we wear Maya like a shroud. We all wear our own versions, each one as unique as a fingerprint. Some are made of a fabric more transparent than others, and those who wear these are called seers or mystics in our society. In the tank my Maya melts away, but I’m still not privy to a pure vision of reality. To a large extent, I’m still shrouded since I’m presented with symbols to decipher–much the same way we access our subconscious minds in our dreams, with messages couched in allegories and symbolic images.

I looked within and saw that I create a lot of tension and worry for myself by projecting my own qualities onto others. I would do well to keep in mind that not everyone’s feelings are quite as sensitive as mine, and that I torture myself to keep from hurting others for no good reason. I need to release that mindset and practice free expression, without fear of being punished for my honesty, at least with people that I trust.

I heard, you must remember these things: You’re the master of your world and no one controls you. You are not a victim. Decide what you want to do first, then figure out the necessary steps to get there. You can do it; you’re smart. But you’re running out of time–there are more years behind you now than in front of you.

Find your joy, feed your soul

In the tank I asked, What is mankind’s essential nature? Is it to procreate? Is it to rape, pillage and destroy?

I heard, Yes, it is all those things and more. Mankind is also here to create beautiful works of art, to sing, to build soaring architectural visions. What sets these things apart is that none of them were created by groupthink; they were all created by individuals who pushed the boundaries forward.

I asked, Is groupthink always the enemy? What about NASA?

My inner voice told me:

Groupthink is not the enemy. It’s neutral and inert. It’s all in how that tool is used that brings us down or moves us forward. Not knowing that we have an eternal self is the problem. If everyone knew we have an essential, eternal self there would be no more wars.

You need to take a sabbatical, travel across North America to different float centers and talk to people. Write about it in your blog. Communicate this out and inspire others to get in touch with their inner voices. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry. Everything will turn out magically right in the end.

Keep asking the eternal question: Why?

You’re feeding your soul soda crackers and water right now, a pauper’s diet. You need to feed your soul properly in order for it to thrive. Find your joy, and feed your soul.

A glimpse into the future

Half trance.

I found myself floating in the far reaches of our universe, and noticed I was wearing glasses which enabled me to see into the future. I saw the earth as a thin flattened sphere far off in the distance. I realized I was looking at a dead planet, thousands of years from now. But it wasn’t humankind that had done this. It was the death of a star…the sun had simply and slowly extinguished, leaving the earth cold and humankind unable to reverse the process. I wanted to look into the not so distant future, my own–but I heard a voice saying, That’s not possible. There are too many shifting options since you’re so open to new experiences, and as you continue to raise your frequency you’ll have an increasing number of collisions with multiple possibilities.

I asked: How do I find happiness?
The answer: Look deep inside yourself and find the flame that burns within. Fan the flame, let the fire ignite and fill your entire body. Let it shine from your eyes.

I asked: What is my purpose?
The answer: I just told you. Find happiness and everything else falls into place.

I asked: My upbringing–what was all that about? Why did I have to go through that?
The answer: That was no mistake. It created a strength within you that could not be achieved in any other way. It was necessary to become the warrior princess you are now.  You chose to begin your life this way as a means to an end. You may not need to do this the next time around.
Go and find your tribe.