A very special episode

Here’s another special episode of flashbacks from my last several floats. Since I haven’t been floating consistently for the last two months, it’s been challenging to achieve the theta state. I’ve gained insights from these floats, however; at times it’s just a single phrase that echoes in my skull during and after.


Breathe in light and fill yourself with light, so much so that it spills out from the top of your crown. Breathe out negativity, heaviness, anger and guilt. Feel your entire being become lighter than air, as though you might float up to the ceiling. As you breathe out guilt, practice the divine art of self-forgiveness. There were no wasted movements in your life, nothing was done in vain.


Remember your purpose in life: to be the bringer of light, a being of positive energy filled with beauty, truth, love and joy. You have forgotten this and instead stand in your own shadow.

Be the torch that illuminates, not the torch that destroys.


Self limits are self-sabotage. Remove all elements of self-sabotage, and be amazed at what happens next.

All your self-talk: I’m too short, I’m not pretty enough, I’m getting old; these things are so superficial. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt, who was not beautiful on the outside but very beautiful on the inside, and the impact she made on the world. Walk across your prison cell, throw open the door and run out into the light! Here I saw myself doing just that, but when I got outside the floor dropped from under me. I stepped into emptiness and fell into the dark abyss. I lay at the bottom, crumpled and distraught, only to hear the voice whisper, Get up and start again.


Awaken the power of your soul. Trust in the power of your soul.


The truth is within yourself, if you can go deep enough. If you need help, find a forest. Go deep within the forest and deeper still. Listen for the whisper of truth within the rustling of leaves; find it in the smell of live cypress and the breeze that touches your cheek.


Butterfly Effect

I felt my ancestors gathered around me as I lay suspended in the tank. They spoke with one collective voice: Know that you are deeply loved. You are never alone. We are your cheerleaders–silent for the most part but always here for you.

I asked, What is my purpose in life? There was a pause, and I heard, Ah, but that would be telling. Here’s a hint: before you can inspire others, you must learn to inspire yourself. Look for it deep within. Then if you need to augment that inspiration, find it in nature, in beauty, joy and love. But first find it in yourself. And there are some things you need to work on along the way: laziness, being judgmental. Don’t be afraid to use that sharp mind of yours as a tool to get you further along. You needn’t worry about perfection; you’ll have plenty of time to smooth out the rough edges later on. It’s good you are doing things to extend your life out for as many years as possible. This gives you more time to work towards your goals. Just don’t get too caught up in vanity as you make yourself into a healthier person.

Relationships are the catalysts to your growth–any relationship, even the one you have with the person who smiles at you when you pass them along the sidewalk. There is no substitute for the spiritual growth that comes from stretching one’s belief system to understand another’s soul. Just remember to put thought behind your dealings with people because all actions have a ripple effect…the breeze generated by a butterfly’s wing can be felt around the world. You do not exist in a bubble.

I asked, Can I contact you for help sometimes? Another pause before I heard: Yes, you can contact us for help by going to that place of stillness within yourself, and then asking the question.

The Perks of Being Icarus

IcarusI realized that introverted feeling* is all about communion with one’s higher self. It’s not about sitting back and glowering with judgments imposed on others; what a time-waster! Utilizing introverted feeling to its best, highest expression means finding out the person you were meant to be, then becoming that person even if it takes a lifetime. Or more. It’s about living an authentic life. Everyone has their own path that belongs to them, and no amount of despairing that someone else is on the wrong path will fundamentally change that.

I saw myself as Icarus, wearing the wings that my father Daedalus fashioned for me. Up into the air I soared, prouder and prouder with each stroke of my fine wings. But I knew that flying too close to the sun would burn my wings and send me plummeting back to earth. I realized that while it’s good to explore the concepts I’m uncovering with the help of my higher self, it’s best not to get so esoteric that I alienate people, then start believing myself to be high above everyone else. But it’s fine to soar and explore, and to have fun with it.

I also realized that I’m very miserly when it comes to my work. I dole out the good stuff in tiny increments, mostly because I feel like I’m not fully appreciated. Why should I commit myself if no one is noticing or rewarding me? But that’s awfully small-minded. That’s not how greatness is born. Greatness doesn’t come from the reward system. I could spend my entire life chasing after the carrots that dangle in front of me, and I might even grab one every now and then–they might be very nutritious, shapely carrots. But there’s more to life than carrots….

*Introverted feeling is an INFP (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver–that’s me according to the Myer’s Briggs system)’s dominant cognitive function.

North Star

This is what I transcribed from the voice I heard in the tank:

Early in your childhood, you started to build an intricate castle to protect yourself from the betrayal you felt from your family. Over time, it became a formidable fortress with moats, flying buttresses, and thousands of antechambers, with stained glass windows to filter the light. You reside in this castle to this day, looking out onto the world thru stained glass filters that portray the world as a frightening, twisted, scorched place. Although it took a lifetime to build, you could make it tumble to the ground in an instant. The key lies far below the castle itself. To find it, descend into the foundations, the very place where you are the most afraid to go. They key is there, hidden below the darkness and muck and black standing water. There you will find the key that unravels it all. Without it, you cannot step into the natural light and show your authentic self to the world.

As you walk the path, you’ll find it actually gets harder–which is not as paradoxical as it sounds. For someone who feels they have no choice, or only one choice, life is relatively simple. But when you see the path stretch before you with a myriad of side paths shooting off in many directions, you realize it’s not as straightforward as you’d imagined. The way to navigate is to use self-love as your North Star. Always move in the direction of self-love. Act in a way that is worthy of that love, and retain the need to prove it relentlessly.

Forging the path

Today I asked, What is the spiritual path? Once I’m on it, how do I move forward?

I heard, First, this is what it is not: it’s not a 2-dimensional road on a map you can plot out ahead of time, planting one foot in front of the other to arrive at a final destination point. Rather, it’s a path you build yourself in multi-dimensional form. Each choice you make builds the path. Every interaction with another being builds the path in whichever way you design it. Building the path spiritually means being aware that you have an infinite number of choices in how you act, react, and interact.

This is not so easy to achieve in a monk-like existence or in an ivory tower. Enjoying life in a corporeal state can and will propel you down the path. You become a source of illumination for the path you are building, a searchlight of sorts that looks for the best direction to take. Micro-decisions count for more than macro-decisions in this game of life. With the latter, you have more time to think, reflect and plan. The former forges the true path.

I asked, How do you build the path in the best way possible?

I heard, Every time you are with someone, gift that person with your presence. Be in the moment, not in your head planning your next interaction. Gift them with respect for their essential selves–even when you do not agree with the choices their egos have already made. Somewhere deep inside still resides their essential self, and it will never leave them.

The essential self sits back and waits patiently, as long as it takes–an eternity if need be. Your essential self hopes and dreams that one day you will discover it–and rejoices when that happens.